


And I never said "stay" if I could say "goodbye"

by Fedies



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Callepita, Coppa Italia, Feelings, M/M, Napoli - Juventus, Serie A 2016-17, When Gonzalo left Naples, a lot of drama, back together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 05:27:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15163661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fedies/pseuds/Fedies
Summary: Napoli - Juve is not just any game, especially for Gonzalo Higuain. The city that made him what is now whistles him, the curve that he defended shouts this time against him and Gonzalo, even if he will never admit it to a living soul, feels guilty. Because Naples really likes him. He knows he has made the best choice for his career but in the worst way. Now nothing can be done. But the problem is another and to that, Gonzalo, tries to remedy desperately. The real problem is José Callejon.





	And I never said "stay" if I could say "goodbye"

He throws out the air, Gonzalo, as if he had been in apnea for ninety minutes.  
He lets himself fall on the grassy surface of the San Paolo, by now he has become accustomed to the annoying buzzing of the whistles so much so that he seems not to hear it anymore.  
But there is. And it hurts a little.  
But he can not cry now, he made his choice and took his responsibilities.  
Deep down he knew it would be like this.  
He closes his eyes and for a moment his mind takes him back to last year.  
A confused river of sounds and colors.

The San Paolo singing.  
A blue tide of people, men, women and children who for years have supported their football faith in the city of a thousand colors.  
A choir.  
"Suddenly one day, I fell in love with you. My heart was beating, do not ask me why "  
The words come out of his lips, he screams too.  
The record ball under the arm.  
He smiles, feels his lips bent upward almost to hurt him.  
"Time has passed, but I'm still here. And today as then, I defend the city "  
He turns and sees him, José harp at his neck as they jump and celebrate under the curve that screams his name.

 

He opens his eyes and everything is finished.  
The stadium is emptying and the noise gradually decreases, while even the last of his Juventus companions who left the bench returns to the tunnel.  
His former teammates, on the other hand, are still on the pitch, applauding all the fans of the stadium despite the defeat, despite the elimination.  
Lorenzo walks with his head down until Dries meets him and offers him refuge in his arms. He knows that the two have exchanged a fleeting kiss and his stomach is tightened.  
Automatically look for the only person who comes to mind when he sees couples exchange gestures of love.  
José has just turned his back on the curve after a long applause and walks slowly towards the changing rooms; at that point Gonzalo gets up and they meet eyes in the eye, even if at least three meters away.  
They look at each other but do not say anything.  
The Argentine can not bear the embittered and wounded look of José.  
He knows he wants to look angry, cold, detached ... and instead they are there, alone and sad as dogs, without the courage to say a word.  
Gonzalo looks up towards the distinguished sector, where he still heads a banner that says "Naples does not want the cowards" and, for the first time since he left for Turin, he decides it's time to stop being a coward.  
José took a step towards the tunnel but his voice stops him.  
"José, wait"  
The Spaniard feels a shiver go up his back when he hears Gonzalo pronounce his name in a way all his own. In a way that he loved before. In a way that also loves now.  
He clenches his fists, infuriated with himself and with the confusion in his head and heart.  
The number 9 stops a few steps from him and invites him to look at him in the face.  
"Please, José, I need to talk to you"  
Callejon turns and at the same time he curses himself because as soon as he meets the dark eyes of the other he wants to burst into tears. Scream like a child. Take it to slap. Kiss him. Hit him again.  
José's eyes full of tears stifle Gonzalo and make him waver more than he should.  
He knows it's his fault, all his fault.  
"I have to ..." the Spaniard clears his throat "I have to go back inside, Marta is waiting for me"  
Bales.  
Marta is at home, Gonzalo has seen a picture on Instagram before the game where she is on the sofa with the girls and after the match José always sleeps at Castelvolturno not to wake her up.  
At that point the Argentine grabs his arm, the hold is strong but does not hurt.  
He notices the chills on José's skin and their looks meet again.  
This time it can not be postponed.  
"See you in a couple of hours ... in the old place ..." José says and it seems that to say those words cost him a huge effort.

 

Both returned in their dressing rooms, both José and Gonzalo count the minutes that separate them from the appointment with an anxiety that devours the mouth of the stomach.  
The old place is a flat that José had secretly bought some time ago, in an ancient building in the Via Caracciolo area, which overlooks the sea.  
Their love nest.  
Gonzalo takes us a bit 'to avoid journalists and invent a credible excuse for his escape that convinces Paulo and Miralem to cover him.  
When, failing to be recognized, reaches the building knows that there is no need to knock.  
The keys are always there, hidden in the saucer of a geranium plant now almost completely withered. Before they were watering her, the other tenants did not care.  
José had not been back there since he left, he notes.  
He does not honestly know whether to be happy or not.  
Carefully enter the apartment, left exactly as he had left it.  
The simple furniture, only covered by a considerable layer of dust. The two or three photos that were there are all facing down. Gonzalo raises one, inside which there is a picture of them. Embraced, smiling, in the garden of the Reina house for one of the usual noisy grills.  
He makes a half smile.  
"Do not look at it that way. Do not look at it as if it were a beautiful memory for you "  
Gonzalo looks up and sees José leaning against the doorframe that leads to the terrace overlooking the sea.  
The Spaniard tightens like a hedgehog, chilled by the cool night breeze blowing the city of Naples.  
"It's a nice memory. I was happy"  
It is these magical little words that trigger something in José, who reacts aloud.  
"No! Do not say you were happy! Because if you were happy you did not leave!" He shouts, the voice more broken than he would like.  
Gonzalo sighs wearily, putting down the picture.  
"José, I told you, the engagement was high, there was a good chance to play the Champions ... I could not say no"  
"You could talk to me about it! Talk with the guys! Do not leave like the worst of the assholes, fuck! What is it, a nice bundle of money was more important than what was between us? I never imagined that you were such a... empty person" spits out the last words reluctantly.  
"I know I misbehaved, I realize I totally wrong approach. But I need to recover things with you, José "  
The other, however, gives no sign of having heard him, overwhelming him with his voice.  
"I was in love with you!" He shouts at him, silencing Gonzalo with the same effect as a slap in the face.  
"And you left without even saying goodbye! Without telling me I love you, or at least goodbye. I deserved it, at least that. Our history deserved it "  
José can no longer control the tears that now wet his cheeks and Gonzalo also feels his eyes burn.  
"Even I was in love with you. I'm in love" he remarks.  
"If I were not, I would not be here to beg you to forgive me, because I was an asshole and there's not a single day when I do not wake up wanting to be here with you. Wake up with your smell on me. Kiss you. Make love with you. Look at me, José, and tell me. Tell me that you hate me, that you do not love me, that you can not forgive me and I will leave you alone. Look me in the eye though "  
And at this point José starts to push him, his eyes clouded with tears.  
The shoves, however, soon lose their strength and the Spaniard finds himself tight in something very similar to a hug, where he really gives vent to tears.  
"I tried to hate you, damn it. I wanted to hate you. But every time I thought of everything we've been through, from Madrid to here. The beginning of our history. Everything we have built. It all started in this city. I can not not love you and I hate myself for it. Fuck you "  
Gonzalo stops this river of words taking José's face in his hands.  
They look into each other's eyes for a fraction of a second, then the Argentine glues his lips to those of the other, who does not resist.  
Soon this clashing of mouths turns into the same old dance that involves the whole body, little by little without clothes. Everything tastes about them.  
They make love after a long time in that Neapolitan house hidden from the eyes of the world, where time seems to stop.

 

Gonzalo stands with his back against the back of the bed, José with his head abandoned on his chest.  
An almost restful silence falls. A silence of truce.  
"You know I have not forgiven you yet. It will take a while. You have to prove to me that it's still worth fighting for" the Spaniard says at a certain point, breaking the atmosphere of glass that had been created.  
"For you I will always fight, José. Now I know what I can not afford to lose "  
Gonzalo does not remember having ever spoken in such a sure, sincere and resolute tone. He knows he could not give up his man anymore.  
"I love you" this time José did not try to bite his tongue, he simply made out the words, remitting a sweet kiss behind his neck by Gonzalo.  
"You hurt me before" he says in a child's voice, when the Juventus' player touches a shin with his foot from under the covers. In the match they had a fight and Gonzalo did not even help him get up.  
"Excuse me, love, I did not want to" he replies, sincerely sorry.  
Just as he would not have wanted to exult, or even mark those two goals.  
But now he plays for Juventus, he can not do otherwise.  
A question stings the tip of Gonzalo's tongue, which in the end, a little 'uncomfortable, could not keep quiet.  
"I've always wondered in these months if you ..."  
But José does not let him continue.  
"No"  
Gonzalo looks at him curiously.  
"No, I have not been with anyone else. Not even for one night. I could never have ... At times I did not even touch Marta "  
Incredible as José manages to read his thoughts always, even anticipating his questions.  
"And you? I saw that you tied a lot with those there ... "  
The Argentine makes a crooked smile, had always had a weakness for the scenes of jealousy of José.  
"The same goes for me. I do not hide that Paulo has tried but I have always refused. My heart is only yours, José "  
The Napoli player tightens further to the body of Gonzalo, mentally mentoring to center the tibia of Dybala in the next useful opportunity.  
"You have to tell me about everything that happened while I was not there. I want to know everything about those crazy people. I hope one day they can forgive me too ... "  
"Besides Lorenzo and Dries fucking like rabbits? There will be something to talk about! I'll make you a coffee? "  
"I beg you, I do not drink a decent coffee from months ..."  
José smiles satisfied.  
After all, in Turin they can be full of money and trophies but they can only dream the Neapolitan coffee.  
"And they do not have you," adds Gonzalo, managing to read his mind in turn.


End file.
